Tag: #strange

Numer Three, The Mystery!

Numer Three, The Mystery!

Hello welcome! I’m Queen Noodle, and if this blog is the first one you discover then feel free to check my first two before you get started. 🙂

So as I was snooping around my grandmothers house I had wondered into her bedroom. Where at the end of the double bed sat a nice storage ottoman. So me being the average glue eating kid I lifted up the heavy lid and wow… Just wow… This was … Where my grandmother kept her table clothes.

You’d think I would have stopped there with disappointment of just finding a whole load of cream colored stained  tables clothes but oh no… Not me… This time curiosity killed the cat… Like… Seriously. So I dug my hand deeper into the folds of fabric and felt paper. “Oh what is it!?” I pulled out a magazine and  a whole wave of confusion crossed my mind.

Expecting it to be a Beano comic book I’d usually find lying around this… This was something else.  So I flicked through the pages of this magazine and with a face of pure confusion I couldn’t help but read on. One of the biggest questions I had in mind was “Why does she have her moo-moo out?” Being young and innocent I had no idea what it meant. So I wondered into the bathroom and had my wee-wee which was the reason I went up stairs in the first place. But I’m easily distracted.

So sitting on the toilet reading this magazine I noticed I had some rather interesting questions. For one, “Why is this lady touching the man’s winky…” or  “How is she even doing that!” So after exploring the odd images I left the bathroom and put it back in the ottoman and pretend I never saw anything. So a week past and it was the weekend and everyone was at my grandmothers. So I found my opportunity to do more snooping.

I went back to the Ottoman and lifted up the lid and felt around for it. Aha! I found  it again! I gripped the magazine and pushed it under my top  and tucked my top into my trousers. I knew mother was in the bathroom so I waited for her to go down then I walked from my grandmothers bedroom and walking down to the bathroom my uncle had been waiting for the bathroom to vacate. So I panicked and grabbed the magazine and ran into the spare room and sat on it.

“What are you doing!?” I heard my uncle! Oh no … I was in trouble. I know it … My uncle being a big bloke with blonde curly hair came stomping in. Me and my uncle often clashed and he picked on me a little because I was a “Wimp” in his eyes. Although undoubtedly he loved me but liked to taunt me a lot.  So sitting still on top of my little new found magazine he looked at me “Get up!” he demanded. I shook my head… Oh no!, Ohhh nooo! oh no, oh, no! I could feel it I could feel that moment if pure terror approaching as he  then stopped and said “STAND UP!”

So.. Standing up he looked at the crumpled magazine that hid under my bum and grabbed it rolling it up into a tube. Ohh dear. “You shouldn’t have that!” Oh … I know … But still my uncle took the magazine and left to go downstairs saying them words every kid hates and dreads… “I’m telling your mum…” NOO!!! I dreaded coming downstairs. I went to the bathroom and waited and until … “GET DOWN HERE!” my uncle shouted. I quickly left the bathroom and I sneaked   downstairs.

Going into the living room I was grated by giggled and smiles. I was confused on why. My mother called me over and sat me on her lap. I was embarrassed what kid wouldn’t be?  Being caught looking at men and woman touching each other’s winkys and moo-moos My mother explained why I should read the magazines and I shouldn’t snoop in future.

But did that stop me? …

… Oh hell no it didn’t

Right well I hope you enjoyed reading my little embarrassing moment and I’d be happy to tell you more in the future.

Maybe I’d tell you about what made me run off and cry in the middle of P.E Or the time I tried to convince my teacher I was a vampire. Or maybe even the time the teacher made me eat of the bin. Who knows what things will thought up for my next post but either way my whole life of embarrassing things will be here and upcoming in future to either make you laugh or just down right cringe…

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Number Two, The Glue!

So, from my previous blog you’re possibly wondering about the glue, I’ll tell you.

*Cracks knuckles* Ok it all started in primary school. I never liked to play with the other children as you know, they’re all poo-poo heads. So I sat alone most time and it came to arts and crafts. Now with a Level 1 Diploma now it was just natural that I had an interest with that subject. *Clears throat* So, we were casually sitting at our brightly colored hexagon  desk with glue pots every where, roughly cut up paper, and as usual some other kids demanding all the best colored pencils Need to make sure that tree is extra blue and purple!. So using the good old Pritt Stick I had a big whiff of the glue to my surprise it smelled good, sweet and a little strange. The other kid looked at me like I was an alien and suddenly a devilish smirk washed over his face “Lick it, I dare ya!” he taunted. So me being me rarely backing down from a dare; my tongue licked over the glue stick and that moment is when I knew, I liked the taste of glue sticks.

So as years went by I grew a taste for all different types of glue, Like the tacky glue on an envelope, which was sort of encouraged by the very sweet taste and the fact it was okay to have in your mouth. When I was around 15 I was snooping around my grandmothers house I usually would do and behold, UHU! That brightly colored yellow stick of glory just looking at me and if it had a face it would have been winking at me. So I picked up the yellow stick and removed the cap.  Slowly I picked it up to my nose and took a very long inhale. Ohh my Lord above that was the best smelling glue ever.

So it was final, the best smelling glue to me will always be UHU. Not to say I’m a glue sniffer…In like the drug way but because I just like the smell…Don’t judge me!!! Well not too much anyhow. So yeah from being in that arts and crafts to snooping in my Grandmothers house I discovered my little love for the smell and taste for glue sticks. I don’t very much like the smell or taste of liquid glue just the solid form. But yeah just be careful when you snoop in your grandmothers house especially when looking the ottoman.

If you want to know what I found in the Ottoman, please come back … I’ll miss you…I need you! *Cries* Then tune in tomorrow or every 2 day’s to read more of my very strange little secrets and adventures! I hope you have a wonderful day or evening or which ever and I hope you had a good old read! 😀

Bye!

P.s,

I was actually as people describe. “The strange kid in the corner of the classroom eating glue and forcing my face to go red…Yeah I used to do that..I’m sure everyone has at one point…No..Just me…? Okay…